“How are you?”
“Good, I’m just tired.”
Does that sound familiar? Or what about an even more abrupt, “I’m tired?”
When we’re being honest with ourselves, aren’t we all tired of something? But I’m not speaking for everyone here; just myself. And I am so tired. Tired of just every day living.
It’s amazing how many things I have to deal with on a daily basis. Work. School. Pets. Family. Friends. Shopping. Cleaning. Crafting. The list goes on and on,.. it never ends! So it’s no wonder that I’m tired! But these are just the physical things I have to deal with on a daily basis. If I were to include all the mental things in addition to that, the list would be a mile long.
My mental illness makes me tired. I’ll admit it: it’s tiring to deal with my illness on a daily basis. I’m so so tired of all the voices, all the people and bugs I see, all the intrusive thoughts that race through my mind at the speed of light. I am so tired of feeling panicky, feeling sad, feeling angry- and not knowing how to deal with these negative emotions in a healthy way.
I am tired. I am tired of living- all I want to do is sleep. Sleep? It helps me ignore things. Actually, that’s probably the only positive thing about it: it puts a stop to everything going on in my life. But then, when I wake up, everything is just there the same as I left it, if not worse. So sleep is obviously not the answer.
But what is the answer?
That, I do not really know. When you’re just tired, you don’t want to think about anything. You don’t want to do anything. But you can’t fall victim to the tiredness. You’ve got to fight it.
When you’re tired, fight. Fight for your life. Fight to be better. Fight to be less tired. I know that it takes work. I know you don’t want to do it. But you’ve got to, because you’ll feel so much better in the end.
That’s just what I’ve got to remember- it’s worth it to fight. Because when I’m tired of everything, I just want to give up and stop fighting; stop living. It’s at this moment that it’s most important to start fighting, to keep fighting, and to never give up.
So, you’re tired? Me, too. Me, too.
But we’ll get through this.
There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.